Q: Who are you?
A: I am The Death Psychic.
Q: How accurate are your Death predictions?
A: Very accurate.
Q: How do you know?
A: No one who''s ever died has written me back to tell me that I was wrong, so I must be right.
Q: But I thought you said on that other page that you do make an occasional mistake?
A: I know what I said.
Q: Can I buy one of those killer Death Psychic T-shirts?
A: No. My T-shirts are only given away to those who e-mail me with new death ideas which I consider worthy of a free T-shirt.
Q: But I really, really, really want a Death Psychic T-shirt!
A: Then buy one.
Q: But I thought you just said they're not for sale?
A: I know what I said.
Q: I came back for another prediction, and my death changed! Why?
A: For the most part, I stand by my predictions. If you do somehow manage to cheat death, however, it's only right that I provide you with a new prediction.
Q: I e-mailed you and told you that you were wrong, but you didn't send me a Death Psychic T-shirt! Why not?
A: Telling me that I'm wrong is one thing. Proving that I'm wrong is another.
Q: I e-mailed you and proved that you were wrong, but you didn't send me a Death Psychic T-shirt! Why not?
A: Amazingly, hundreds of self-proclaimed quadriplegics and amputees have e-mailed me to let me know of my erroneous predictions. While I don't know exactly how many quadriplegics and amputees are out there, I'm guessing that it's fewer than the number of people who have actually e-mailed me claiming to be quadriplegics and amputees. With that said, if you have no arms and legs (or if they simply don't work), that doesn't qualify you for a free T-shirt. I do, however, appreciate the time you took to send me an e-mail without the use of your limbs.
Q: Your site is sick and twisted! How do you sleep at night?
A: Wrapped up comfortably in free T-shirts from TheDeathPsychic.com.
Q: Can I go now?
A: Of course. And don't forget to pick up a Death Psychic T-shirt on the way out.

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